I Need Your Help

That’s right, I’m actually soliciting your opinions and wise words of advice.

To register or not to register? That is the question.

What is your opinion on the whole registering for stuff you want?

As a creator of such a registry, I have to admit, the idea makes me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in a guilty sort of way. It just seems very demanding or bossy of me to put a bunch of things on a list that I am hoping people will buy for me to “celebrate” my decision to get married. *shudder*

Don’t get me wrong – I love gifts. I love giving gifts. I love getting gifts. I love seeing what kinds of gifts other people get. I am NOT against gifting. But shouldn’t a gift be something that the giver wants to give and not something that the receiver is instructing the gifter to give? Are those two things mutually exclusive? Are you confused yet? I am.

Because the gifter in me understands that it is nice (and convenient) to be able to give someone something that they really want/need without having to agonize over the decision or go all Columbo trying to figure out what it is they want. Ya know? If I give someone a toaster, but what they really needed was a blender, then essentially what I’ve just given them is an errand. And that’s no good.

On the other hand, I don’t want to seem presumptuous. I mean, I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to buy any kind of gift at all. After all, I’m 33 and Daniel is *gasp* almost 45, so it’s not like we’re just starting out and need to build a household full of toasters and stuff. Although since both of us are first time home owners, there are certainly things we are lacking that we will need to buy at some point (lawn mower comes to mind…)

Am I being stupid? The giver in me says yes to registries. If a registry is available, I typically choose an item from it to give as a gift; although I also sometimes add non-registry things to the gift as well. See? Even as a gifter, I don’t entirely like to be told what to do. It's like the registry is insulting my ability to choose an appropriate gift.

I know there are people who will want to give me and Daniel a gift in celebration of our marriage – I would want to do the same for my friends and families. So, if I don’t register then I run the risk of receiving 3 blenders and a dozen pink towels with little embroidered flowers on them – not that anyone would actually give me pink towels if they knew me at all . . . although now that I’ve said it, I’ll most likely get pink towels from some wise-ass.

So, do I just suck it up, be bossy, and tell people what to buy me?

Pro-Registry? Anti-Registry? Anyone? Anyone?


schroederjt said...

Yes, you should register.

Registering doesn't mean that people are obligated to get you a gift, or even that they are bound to get you something that you've registered for.

The registry is just a tool to facilitate you getting presents that you actually want/need. And it's very helpful for out of town friends who may or may not know what you already have in your new place.

I say go for it.

Alison said...

As a long time fan of your personal taste, I say yes, go for it. I am so fascinated by your renovation process that I got annoyed when you mentioned names of paint colors without links to those colors.

Frank said...

I tend to say no. Our society is devoid of personal involvement as it is, this is just one more way for people to "mail it in" without having invest anything of themselves into the process. It is sad we live in a world where taking time to *gasp* spend time thinking about what someone wants and finding a way to give something that reflects my personal relationship with them as well as something they'd like... Heck, I say it's good to play Columbo.

The way I see it, a registry is just another way of saying "send cash." Might as well just forget the registry and cut to the chase. Personally, I wouldn't mind it if my home were made up of a patchwork quilt of mis-matched items that my friendly lovingly gave to me. But I know that's not everyone's preference.

Alison said...

I didn't say the gift I chose would be *from* the registry; I just said I'd like to be nosy and see what's on the list :)

Mars Girl said...

I say yes because people like me are lazy and dont know people well enough to know what items they would specifically want. If people dont have a registery, I do one of two things: I donate money in their name to a charity or I give them a gift card, both of which I consider totally impersonal and hate doing. At least if I am buying something off the registry, I know the couple will probably keep it (unless there's a blip in the computer system and they get two of what they ordered, or they werent smart enough to register for different things at each store they register at, in which case that is NOT my fault).

I cant know each and every person in my life on that kind of level to get them a great gift. The registry gives me the option to fall back on something if I cant come up with something on my own.

For some people, however, I receive divine inspiration... but that only happens every once in awhile. To be perfectly honest, I wish people would make registries for all gift-giving events, including birthdays and anniversaries. I'm so bad at buying gifts, I just dont need that kind of pressure. And I dont want to be shopping all day to find *the perfect gift*. I just want to go in, get what I need, and leave. That's what registries are PERFECT for.

Mars Girl said...

Sorry for the rant, but I was invited to three weddings this summer, none of which I can actually attend, and the registry has saved my life...

Mars Girl said...

And, PS, Frank, I'm not crafty enough to make you a patchwork quilt, or really anything that you would want to prominently display in your living space...

Terah Lynn said...

Just say "YES" to registry! AND register for any little thing because most places that have a registry will give some type of buying discount for things left on your registry after the event. Ok...I spent too much time working at Pottery Barn!

boty said...

Frank, shut your pie hole...if you are personally threatened by a gify registry then you have some deep rooted issues that perhaps medication hasn't solved yet...I suggest locking yourself in your house for the next 80 years. You should probably start collecting your urine in gallon jugs too. Can't be too careful these days.

p.s. If people want cash the phrase used is "no boxed gifts please" or simply "please no gifts"...not a list of suggested items. Ass.

Cafra-I like pink towels with bedazzles on them