6.12.2009

Random Hyperbole

OMG! So, the most disturbing thing happened today!

It’s Friday. It’s lunchtime. Which typically means I go out for lunch instead of eating my “brown bag” lunch like I do throughout the rest of the work week. Unless Daniel text messages me at 11:30 with “I want to see you. Can I take you out for lunch?” And I usually let him take me out for lunch…cuz I’m nice like that.

So there I am, standing at the counter of my favorite sandwich shop, ordering my favorite sandwich and next to me are the strategically placed cookie baskets. When I go to this particular sandwich shop, I almost always get a cookie (oh who are we kidding, I ALWAYS get a cookie) because they make really delicious cookies. Strike that. I don’t know for a fact that ALL of their cookies are really delicious because I only ever get the Chocolate Chunk Cookie.

Today, I looked at the Chocolate Chunks. I looked at the Peanut Butters. I looked at the Oatmeal Raisins. That’s what I do, I practice equal opportunity when it comes to cookies. I give each cookie it’s chance to entice me and inevitably Chocolate Chunk always wins. But today, TODAY, I willingly picked out AN OATMEAL RAISIN and put it on the counter.

I don’t know what happened! I don’t know what came over me!

Here’s what I suspect: My choosing an Oatmeal Raisin over a Chocolate Chunk is a clear sign I’m getting old (well in addition to the other signs…like wrinkles and white hairs). Today it’s Oatmeal Raisin over Chocolate Chunk. Tomorrow, it’s the Weather Channel over VH1. Weak Tea with Lemon, over Vodka Tonic with Lime is next. And before you know it I’ll be getting up at 5 am on a Saturday to go have breakfast at Shoney’s!

This is where it starts my friends…this is where it starts.

10 comments:

Mars Girl said...

Yeah... there's definitely something wrong... BLECH, I hate oatmeal raisin. I always mistake it for chocolate chip on a dish of random cookies, and then am sorely disappointed... :(

But give me white chocolate chip macadamia nut any day!! =) I *have* to have one whenever I see any of that type...

Daniel said...

Ok. First, anyone who could not read when Reagan was elected president is not old.

If someone talks about their collection of 45s and all you can think is they own many guns, you are not old.

If you cannot remember when you first got a microwave oven, VCR (what DVD players used to be called), or remember when there was no MTV, you are not old.

Finally, oatmeal cookies are the BEST....I know because I am old

mom said...

I think it was a daring move to purposely select a different kind of cookie,

Daniel's right, YOU are not old, but if you keep breaking routine, you will make me old...older. You know how I hate a break in routine. I hope I will be able to sleep tonight with this bit of rebellion.

Alison said...

I think it started when you admitted to liking butter pecan ice cream.

boty said...

hey asshole, oatmeal raisin cookies are my favorite cookies. chocolate chunk/chip is SOOOOO over rated.

schroederjt said...

I think the most elderly cookie choice is probably sugar cookies. Or maybe ginger snaps. So I think you are in the clear. Unless you are also carrying hard candies wrapped in cellophane in your purse...

boty said...

yeah you totally need hard butterscotch candies with loud wrappings to be old.

Dawn said...

Chosing a different, earth-shattering path today proves you are still young and adventurous.

Do you happen to have any covers on your toilet lid?

cathryn said...

joanna - The most elderly cookie is that nasty-ass cookie that you and Sara insist upon eating...you know, those pepperidge farm chess cookies or whatever the hell they're called! :)

cathryn said...

Dawn - Fortunately I have not yet crossed the "fuzzy toilet seat cover" line. YET. :)