Please Pass the Maternity Pants

Up until two weeks ago, my pants had all been rigged to stay on my ass and over my growing girth by means of rubber bands and one of those stretchy tube top thingys. I was totally in the McGuyver zone. But rubber bands only stretch so far. And pants that are completely unzipped and unbuttoned, being held in place by a thin tube top, is a situation just begging for a public wardrobe malfunction.

So, two weekends ago I finally broke down, after Daniel threatened to go buy me maternity pants himself, went to a maternity store and purchased three pairs.

First of all, I kind of hate going into "specialty" stores like that because the store clerk to customer ratio is always way off and I hate being fussed over. Alas, there was only one other shopper in the store when I arrived and she quickly departed leaving me with three helpful, smiling sales associates ready to take measurements, ask questions, and load up a dressing room for me. Oy.

And then I tried on my first pair of maternity pants and my life changed forever.

Dear god why are pants made ANY other way!?

Okay so maybe maternity pants aren't the most fashionable clothing item, but they are so wonderfully, so monumentally, so accutely comfortable, I'm tearing up with love and gratitude even as I type this.

When I went to work that week rocking out my inner Ed Grimley in my new maternity pants, I gushed like a tween with a crush to one of my female co-workers on my extraordinary new pants. She said, "you know those green pants I wear?" In fact, I did know those green pants she wears because everytime she wears them I comment on how cute they are. She leaned in and whispered, "those are maternity pants." Her youngest child is like four.

My future suddenly seemed brighter. You mean I could continue wearing these glorious pants even AFTER I give birth!? Hell. Yeah.

The world would be a happier place if everyone just wore maternity pants. Seriously.


Alison said...

LOL. So... does one have to be pregnant to shop in one of those stores?

Jennifer said...

I agree..those pants are awesome!! Soooo comfortable. I think the best part of being pregnant was never having to "suck the gut in" and those pants!!

Diane said...

So there IS something for me to look forward to!! :)

mom said...

My youngest child is 30, do I think I qualify too. Heck if they're that comfortable and stylish I'm in.

Mars Girl said...

They sell maturnity clothes at Kohl's. So you dont have to go to a speciality store to get fussed over... jus' sayin'... that's where I would go... cuz I'd detest perky girls asking me all sorts of questions about my pregnancy...

cathryn said...

Alison - No one should be denied the pleasure of the Most Comfortable Pants on Earth. Pregnant or not. Plus places like Target and Old Navy sell some maternity clothes (although from my experience they have really sucky selection in the stores).

Jennifer - So far it's pretty much the ONLY perk I can think of to being pregnant! lol

Diane - Yes! It's not all bad - there are THE PANTS that will change your life :)

Mom - I think if someone has EVER had a child, they certainly qualify to wear the Most Comfortable Pants on Earth. I'm trying to persuade Daniel to try a pair on! PANTS for everyone!

Mars - I honestly don't even know where there is a Kohl's around here but if they have better selection than Target or Old Navy, I'm in! :)

Mars Girl said...

WHAT?!?!?!? No Kohl's?!? How could that be!?!?!? It's the best clothing store on Earth... How horrible for you!!