11.15.2010

Eviction Notice

Dear Hector,

Kindly accept this letter as your official 30-day notice to vacate the premises. Even though our initial contract states December 1, 2010 as termination of your lease, we understand that developing lungs may take some extra time and are willing to allow you to stay a bit longer.

However, we must insist that you be moved out by December 15, 2010.

Though you have been a most agreeable tenant thus far, new living arrangements must be made to preserve our physical and mental health. And yours too, we would assume. Your quarters must surely be getting uncomfortably cramped, and unfortunately our policies do not allow for expansions or additions at this time.

I can assure you all will be done to make your transition as comfortable and stress-free as possible. We have a team of skilled movers ready to assist you if needed. There will be little to no paperwork for you to fill out so no need to worry about that. Preparations are completed or underway to ensure your new accommodations meet your expectations.

We completely understand that change can be a frightening and intimidating thing, but please know that you will be loved and well cared for, not only by management (ie. Mom and Dad), but by a lot of other people as well, who are excited about your upcoming move.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us directly and we will do our best to soothe your concerns and answer your questions.

With love and excitement,

Management
(Dad and Mom)

7 comments:

Diane. said...

Sending you lots of positive energy that Hector's "move" goes smoothly! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on pregnancy with all of us.

schroederjt said...

You are hilarious. You should print this out and put it in your baby book.

Rachel said...

This is such a cute post! I've got to forward it to my sister-in-law who is almost 3 months pregnant and already looking forward to her baby's eviction too! :-)

HeyBetty!! said...

Is it not crazy to refer to yourself as "mum". YIKES!!

mom said...

I agree with Schroederjt, you should print this out. I think better living arrangements will be a welcome change for your little tenant. Guess he'll move when he's good and ready, and not a minute sooner.

Mars Girl said...

LOL!

squatlo said...

Cathryn, I'm sending this post to a very preggo friend in Illinois who could use the laugh! From a photographer in Murfreesboro, I hope your delivery is as smooth as your writing style, and you have a hundred funny stories to tell about the ordeal when it's done.
(and if you ever need an inexpensive shutterbug, look us up! www.wizardpixphotography.com)

This is the funniest thing I've read in days! Well damn done...

bob (visit my blog when you're again among the 'ovulators on duty' crowd!)