WTF!? Okay, so seriously, I never really considered myself to be terribly money-hungry or materialistic, but after this weekend, I'm re-thinking that self-assessment. Yes, it's true I've done some strange things in order to make money - re-shingling a three-story barn, painting rental apartments with Bob and Rita, working 3rd shift slinging around 30lb bags of mail, appraising art in Cleveland with a bi-polar art dealer (yeah that one was fun)... And yes, my parents instilled a strong work ethic in me. And yes, historically, whatever employment opportunity presents itself, I'm usually up for it. But, money-grubbing never really crossed my mind.
Rare have been the periods in my life when I've maintained only one job at a time, but up until recently those jobs were necessary to my survival. At one point I was working full time during the weekdays at an architecture firm in NY, while working 20-30 hours during the weeknights and working retail on the weekends...and still barely scraping by. Can you say crazy?
For the first time in my life, I actually have a job where I don't HAVE to work another job in order to live. This is good. And yet, here I am, still sacrificing my precious weekends on a regular basis to make a little extra money kidsitting or dogsitting or housesitting or whatever. It's like a sickness. A compulsion. Like if the opportunity presents itself and I don't take advantage of it, I'm a bad person. A lazy person. A person who will regret not making money when she had the chance. A person who would be foolishly prideful to turn their nose up at a job. Part of me knows this is stupid.
But the other part is stubborn when it comes to extra cash endeavors. It's not about the money...well, okay let's be honest, it IS about the money. And maybe it's because I'm inherently greedy, but it's also because I'm afraid. I've been in that dark, scary realm of NO money. Zilch. Zip. Zero. Not even enough to pay for basic living expenses, and although money doesn't mean a lot to me, I don't ever want to be in that place again.
So, I've spent the past 5 days being a single parent (that's right, you heard me - FIVE days!), interrupting my life, sacrificing my time not because I really wanted to, but because I would've felt guilty passing up the golden opportunity to make extra money. Although, after this hellish long weekend, I think I may be cured of my compulsive behavior...or at least willing to take a looooong break from future extracurricular money-making activities.