Just Happy To Be Here

Seems my endless bouts with various illnesses are over - knock on wood - and I'm just happy to be here. Things are good. I feel almost guilty in my happiness. Ya know, sorta like survivor guilt? Life is less hectic than it has been in a long time, and honestly, I can't think of one single thing that has me stressed.

Work is fulfilling right now. My hospital project in Myrtle Beach got funded and is being bid and I started another project, an E.D. expansion and renovation, which is small enough to be fun and manageable, but large enough to keep me busy. I've finally got a handle on my IDP process and it's exciting to be moving in the right direction professionally. Our ACE team this year consists of 15 high school students who, so far, are all bright and enthusiastic, and a group of dedicated mentors who make me proud to be their team leader.

Daniel's work, while not terribly challenging for him, is at least stable (which counts for a lot in this unstable economic environment). To help combat the unstimulating nature of his job and help further his career, he is going to be taking some classes towards his masters degree in economics, which is very exciting.

Our house and our neighborhood feel like home. Everytime I pull into our driveway, I get a warm fuzzy feeling. Even the ugly peach color doesn't dampen the joy. And while we're still working on the house, we are doing it in a more leisurely fashion. There's none of the sense of urgency felt with the earlier improvements. There's no deadlines to be met. So, we remove wallpaper, and patch walls, and paint, but not to the exclusion of everything else in our lives.

On the weekend, we'll walk down the street to Mitchell's for breakfast and Sip for coffee and the air is crisp. And the trees are bare. Our neighbors are outside too. And we're grinning like idiots because we're just happy to be here. Even the mundane chores in life - raking the leaves, taking out the trash, going through the mail, cleaning the bathroom - seem tinged with delightfulness lately. I can't explain it.

I feel very fortunate and I'm incredibly grateful (to the point of feeling guilty, as I may have mentioned). Is everything perfect? Of course not. There's lots of little speed bumps in the road. Last week our basement was invaded with wasps and we had to call the Orkin man. But we had the means to be able to call someone to deal with the wasp infestation, and that is a very, very comforting feeling.

Contentment is maybe what I'm experiencing. But there's also an energized undercurrent of excitement. And...well...plain and simple, Happiness.

I have to remind myself not to continually question feelings of happiness, as if I didn't deserve them. Or by not questioning, I am somehow being ungrateful. I'm the type of person who is always sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop, which keeps me from enjoying the shoes. And I do enjoy shoes. We should all enjoy the shoes that we have while we have them. And that didn't really make any sense, but do you know what I mean?

Anyway, I'm just happy to be here, and I'm going to enjoy it.


Anonymous said...

Good for you...me too.

Alison said...

Enjoy that shoe. It's a gift! Don't feel guilty for a second.

Mars Girl said...

Yeah, dont feel guilty. This is how it's supposed to be. Enjoy every moment. You'll feel guilty later if you dont appreciate the moments of happiness life sometimes offers...

HeyBetty!! said...

If it will help I can come pee on your bedroom carpet...you know for a little rain on the parade...that should get rid of the guilt.