9.09.2009

Where Can I Pick Up A Routine?

When someone says, “I’m stuck in a rut”, usually they want to get un-stuck. It means they’re bored or complacent or unsatisfied and feel the need to change things up a bit. A rut is not typically a desirable place to be.

I, however, am looking for a rut. Er. That didn’t sound right. What I mean is, I have been craving routine. It’s not that my life is complete chaos, it’s just felt rather higgledy piggledy for a while and I’m tired of it. There was the buying of the house and the renovating of the house and the moving into the house and the marriage and the continued renovating and the trip to Erie and the never-ending renovating. In two weeks we are going to Egypt and Jordan. And still renovating.

Does it sound like I’m complaining? I’m not. At least, I don’t think I am. I wanted and willingly chose to do all of those things and I am super jazzed about our upcoming travels, but I am also looking forward to having no major plans on the horizon, no upheavals in the near future.

Is a little smooth sailing too much to ask for? Maybe. Maybe there will always be something creating waves. But can I just have baby waves for a little while, pleeeease? Perhaps there are some who thrive on stress and drama, feeding off the chaos, and to those people I say, “good for you, now go away.”

Maybe it’s my age or where I am in my life that has me wanting a more simplified existence. A peaceful routine where I can clear my head for a minute, take a deep breath, and look around me. It feels like so much happened in such a short time that I need to stand still so that my head stops spinning.

My need could be genetic. My mother requires routine as well, and I am becoming increasingly aware of how similar I am to her the older I get. I’ve heard before that we all become our mothers. This could be truer than I thought.

So while I am beyond excited to be visiting the Cradle of Civilization in a couple of weeks, I am also beyond ready to stumble into a rut once we return. I’ll let you know how that goes.

6 comments:

Mars Girl said...

Take a break from the remodeling. Even my dad gets tired of working on my house, so he deliberately goes and does some other jobs (and ones that pay). I took a break from thinking about my house over the summer, even though I know I need to do a bunch of things that are driving me nuts (ie, buy blinds for all the windows, buy bookshelves to organize my current storage room to-be-library, paint the basement so my dad can finish tiling and remodeling down there, new siding for the house...).

Though it's really hard to not focus on these things. I told myself I need to fix my messy to-be-library room and get it useable and paint my basement THIS WINTER. Those are my only two goals.

But then, I also have a living space so that I dont have to look at the mess of these other places. (My to-be-library room has the door closed all the time so that I dont have to pass by and look at the mess in there...)

Frank said...

MG,

Your dad takes 10 year breaks from remodeling!

Mars Girl said...

Only on his house!

boty said...

So you're planning on shrinking to 5'1" and devoting your life to an asshole bastard cat?

cathryn said...

boty - BWAAHAAHAA! Um no. Not literally...but that's hilarious!

mom said...

What, what are you saying? that's not me, is it? I'm almost 5'2" and unlike some pets Jonah is not an asshole..ok , well he is an asshole, but so are my grand pets. huh! Cathryn, don't encourage her.