Old. And proud of it!

Okay kids, it's official. There are just certain things in life that no longer hold any interest for me. Such as, crowded bars full of drunk 22 year olds. I know, how could that be, you ask? Maybe it's because I'm old. Maybe it's because I'm really a hateful snob at heart. But before you call me a curmudgeon, let me make it clear that I do enjoy going out and spending time with my friends. But when it's so loud that you have to shout into each others' ears, i.e.

Her: "do you think he's cute?"
Me: "what!?"
Her: "I said, do you think he's cute, that guy over there?"
Me: "do I think your foot looks like leather? huh?"
Her: "leather? I don't think it's leather"
Me: "over where?"
Her: "what? no there."
Me: "oh"

and so crowded that you are constantly getting elbowed by aforementioned drunk 22 year olds, that's when my inner bitch emerges and all I want to do is get out of this HELL people call "going out to the bars on a Saturday night". Yep.

It all started innocently enough. The plan was to have some holiday fun at our local tequila bar. We drank mojitos and margaritas and ate salsa and tapas. Met some fun new people, and enjoyed some interesting conversations. M got more drunk than I have ever seen him...and more drunk than I ever care to witness again! R was drunk too, but I can never quite tell HOW drunk he actually is, because I'm pretty sure I've only ever been around him when he's in some state of intoxication. He was talking to A about how the Swedes are a very pornographic people. Mm hm.

Having arrived at Agave at 7, by 10ish, we were ready to move on. So, Jen, Angela and I decided to meet Ted and Kimberly downtown at McFaddens. However, due to the fact that downtown was annoyingly crowded and we didn't feel like paying $15 for parking when we were only going to be down there for an hour or two (yes, we had genuine intentions of not staying out too late and yes we ARE that cheap), we instead went to Dan McGuiness on Demonbreun where we met up with Dy and ran into Doug and some of his friends. I actually like Dan McGuiness...the interior is well done, the space is set up nicely (god, am I a dork or what!?) and I think that with the right crowd it could be a really cool hang-out. Unfortunately, last night, it was not the right crowd. No, in fact, it was just the opposite of the right crowd (um...I guess that would make it the wrong crowd, huh?)

In addition to being packed in like sardines with the "wrong crowd", they were also playing very loud techno music. Now, I LIKE techno and it's many variations. In fact, I had been trying all evening to cajole everyone to go to Play (a gay dance club) for that very reason. However, Dan McGuiness is an Irish Pub. A cozy, wood-trimmed, pints and fireplaces Irish pub. It is not a dance club and does not boast anything remotely resembling a dance floor. Nevertheless, someone in authority thought, "ya know, I just bet blasting techno music would be a great idea!". To that person, I just shake my head sadly.

Dancing was not an option. Conversation was not an option. So, we drank. And after a couple of drinks, I found I had even less tolerance for the wrong crowd. Huh. Who knew!? It was after I snarled, "could you try not to jam your fucking elbow in my spine, douchebag?" to some unsuspecting member of the wrong crowd, that we decided once again it was time to move on. Personally, I was ready to move on out of there and head home to the warm coziness that is my bed. But Ang desperately wanted to go to Tin Roof. The only time Ang ever desperately wants to do anything, the "thing" involves a guy. Last night was no exception. So we went to Tin Roof and met up with her guy and some of his friends.

The Tin Roof is fine. And under the right circumstances, I can enjoy myself at the Tin Roof. Those circumstances of course being completely obliterated by enough vodka in my system to block out any sort of annoyance at the existence of other people. I was not at that point. The one good thing about Tin Roof is that they always have a live band. Usually just corny cover bands, but at least it's something to focus on. At this point, I wasn't even interested in drinking anymore and switched to water. How sad it that?

Sad or not, I don't think this is just a phase I'm going through. I can honestly say I would much rather go to a concert or a dance club than to a bar. I would rather go to the theater or a coffee house than to a bar. I would rather go to a quiet pub or a friend's house than to a bar. It's not that I don't want to be social, I just want a particular kind of social that doesn't involve loud, crowded, annoying bars. For instance, going out to a favorite restaurant with great company and fun conversation and then going to a movie is far more enticing than hanging out with the wrong crowd. I'd like to think this is due to my maturing tastes; my more sophisticated, cultured, discriminating social needs. If this means I'm old, then by god, so be it! I will revel in my oldness and not apologize for my distinct lack of interest in bars! I will embrace my oldness and define fun on my own terms! So there.


boty said...

God I miss having a social life :-(

Terah Lynn said...

I couldn't have said it any better myself...if that's "Old" then I'm also proud of it.