11.02.2007

Toilet Texting

Picture, if you will, a public restroom with four stalls (this is a women's restroom so don't picture any urinals). It's mid-morning. It's time for a potty break. You enter the restroom just as someone else is closing the door to one of the stalls. You, being the obsessive toilet room etiquette freak that you are, choose the stall farthest away from the one that was recently occupied. Suddenly, you hear the unmistakable punching of cell phone keys. Trust me, I know this sound.

I'll admit I am somewhat of a text messaging guru. Okay, well maybe not so much "guru" as "enthusiast". Yes…a text messaging enthusiast. Text messaging may be the most perfect communication method since smoke signals. It's less invasive than a phone call but more immediate than an email. It's personal but not intrusive. And it does not disturb those around you…EXCEPT when you are in a toilet stall trying to relieve yourself. And here we are.

First, there are the logistics of peeing while texting. Even the most dexterous amongst us surely would have difficulty composing a text message while going potty. Yes? Or am I off-base here? Maybe it's just me, but when I am in the bathroom (especially when it's not my own personal bathroom), my mission is to get in and get out in the shortest amount of time. I'm not going in there to hang out and chat with a friend via text. Knowing my luck (er…clumsiness), I would be texting…and…well…going to the bathroom; I would reach for the toilet paper; my fingers would become confused (um, excuse me - are we texting here or going potty!?) and my phone would end up IN the toilet.

Second, I know there are those (BETH-A-NEE) who will talk on the phone while on the pot (I hate that by the way) but at least in that case there are no innocent bystanders affected by the toilet talk. Don't even get me started on those inconsiderate cretins who engage in a phone conversation while in a public restroom. Unless you're calling 911, can't it wait until AFTER you're done using the toilet facilities?! Hearing someone furiously punching phone keys two stalls down from you is an inhibitor. An inhibitor! You heard me - and you know what I mean.

Bottom line: texting is a privilege, people! Do not abuse it by taking it to the toilet.

6 comments:

bethany said...

I only use the potty phone when talking to you LMFAO!! I do agree that cell phone use in public restrooms is more aggravating than excessive phone use while driving. Bathroom tele conversations are forbidden absolute...however, I do it for you...I do it for you.

On the public toilet topic...I too always choose the stall farthest from those in use. However some inconsiderate twit always decides they want to potty next to me...even with many other open areas for relief pleasure. MADDENING!

kelly said...

Seems like a total waste of time to go to the bathroom and not make a phone call. I mean you could multi-task. Are you really trying to relax when you are in there? I say if you want to relax go somewhere like a park that doesnt smell like bowl freshner. Allow the people to have a phone/text conversation in the bathroom and feel sorry for them that they are such busy individuals that there in that stall is the only free time they have.

cathryn said...

Okay, just to be clear: I DO NOT go into the restroom to RELAX. Nor do I go in there to make phone calls or text messages. The bathroom is for going potty. Period. It's not a place to hang out and multi-task. (And is there anyone THAT busy, that they have to pee and talk at the same time? I don't think so.)

terah said...

Cellphones and texting in the bathroom...seriously....no one wants to hear those conversations or key punching noises while on the toilet. And if going to the bathroom is the only free time one has to make a phone call...there is a bigger issue there. No one is that busy...

bethany said...

I am not so worried about the sounds OF the phone...more like the sounds the phone picks up FROM the restroom. Nothing can stifle a good urination or dookie like the paranoia of stall cell phone use.

jim said...

You even know what's more disturbing than texting while on the toilet? Picking noses and sticking boogers on the wall. SERIOUSLY! Perhaps you women need to put up w/ other females texting while in the stalls but at least you don't need to stare at some stranger's dried boogers on the wall just above the urinal you're at (and eye level). I made this observation while at a hockey game over the weekend. I have yet gone to a public restroom and found a boogerless wall by the urinal. WHAT IS THE DEAL W/ THE NEED TO PICK ONE'S NOSE WHILE URINATION?