Has anybody else found it difficult to cultivate new friends as an adult? No? Just me? Huh.
I'm more than willing to assume my inability to make friends stems from my own anti-social, neurotic shortcomings, but I'm curious to know how other people do it.
Obviously, school is a nearly perfect environment for cultivating close friendships. And I have. I did. But they all live far away now, and I'm lucky if I get to see them once a year. I've been done with school for 8 years and have no immediate plans to return, so the dew is off that lily.
Another obvious friend venue: church. While this seems to work out well for some, it will not work for me as I am not religious and do not go to, much less belong to, any kind of church. With no plans for conversion anytime in the foreseeable future, that option is grim.
Playing some kind of team sport or belonging to some kind of hobby group would, theoretically, be a way to make adult friends. I've actually tried this, and even may have possibly been successful, except that the one person I connected with recently moved several states away. And even then, I've played tennis with dozens of different women and only found friend potential with ONE person. Sad. See? This whole lack of friends thing could totally be my weird (off-putting?) personality.
Then there's work. Also, theoretically, a potential friend meeting place if you're not into that whole separation of work and personal life thing. I work with some really fantastic people and even enjoy hanging out with them, but the pickin's are slim in the close friend arena. I work mostly with males, and while I'm not opposed to male friendships, there are none who I connect with on a friendship level. The women I work with are either too young, or too involved with their young children, or already have full social circles of people with whom I have nothing in common. So while some of my co-workers are super-cool people to hang out with, close friendships have not really evolved via the office.
I've also heard that having children in school brings parents together and that's how many adults form close friendships - through their kids. No kids here, so that's out.
Further, my husband is no help. He doesn't have any friends here either, so I can't mooch off of his friendships. All of his close friends also live far, far away. And of course neither one of us has any kind of family here to assist in widening our social circles.
I was thinking maybe of getting involved in some kind of regular, local volunteer work (that is not in any way associated with my job) as a way of meeting people with whom I might connect. Anybody have any success with that angle?
We were also contemplating hosting a neighborhood get-together at some point to meet more of our neighbors and get to know them a bit. So far, our neighbor interactions have been mostly brief introductions, waves, and hellos-on-the-go.
Anybody have any good friend strategies for a non-religious, childless, somewhat anti-social, mildly-acerbic adult with a dry sense of humor, liberal leanings, and fairly high dork levels?
Sheesh. No wonder I have no friends!