Dating in The City

My sister is on a date. This always makes me nervous. It didn't use to make me nervous. It never made me nervous until she moved to NJ and started dating people in The City. NYC, as we all know, is full of crazy-ass whack-jobs. So, this evening, right now in fact, she is on a date with a guy in The City.

Since it's a 10 minute train ride from her house to The City, the date asked if she would like his driver to pick her up instead. Driver? Excuse me? No, she would not like his driver to pick her up, thank you very much. She will take the train into The City. Well, would she like his driver to pick her up at the train station? Is that necessary? Well, he doesn’t have a car in The City but he has “a driver”. He could have his driver pick her up at the train station in The City.

Okay, I realize people in dense urban areas usually do not have personal cars, but also they do not typically have personal drivers! This whole driver business seems very suspicious to me. Why can’t he just meet her at the train station or have his driver drive HIM to the train station? It’s definitely fishy.

The following text conversation occured as she left for her date:

HER: Well, I’m on my way to meet the driver.

ME: Okay. Let me know when u meet “the driver”.

HER: This is so bizarre. Ha. fish-out-of-water!

ME: DO NOT get in car if “the driver” seems suspicious.

HER: LOL oh god, it’s like that movie with the razor locks!

ME: Forget the driver. Just meet in a highly visible public place.

HER: Don’t worry. Have my tazor.

ME: Okay, but be on your guard.

HER: Okay mom.

A little while later...

HER: Ahhh train is running 15 min late!

A little while later...

HER: Here. With the driver. lol

ME: Where is the driver taking u?

HER: This is insane!

ME: Where r u?

HER: In the city with my driver. lol

HER: LOL Omg! This is ridiculous! You should see this fucking car! Will I be a dork to take a pic? lol

ME: take a pic of the license plate and tell me where he's taking u!

HER: he had a sign! LMAO

ME: c'mon...what does the car look like and where is he taking u?

Patiently waiting...

ME: if u r being kidnapped - send me a message that says 911

HER: going to his office. driver is nice. lots of people on streets. no razor blades.

ME: alright. text me when u can and especially when u get home.


boty said...

I'M HOME SAFELY EVERYONE! No dead girl here!!!!!

Jennifer said...

I have to say that if there was anyone in the world that I think could handle herself in NYC on a date, it would be Bethany!! I don't think she'd take any crap from anybody!! The tazer thing cracked me up!! And a sign for you??? LOL

So, what does he do that he has a driver anyway? I want a driver!! It's snowing here...I need a driver!! Unfortunately, the best I'd probably get would be a snow plow driver/truck.

boty said...

LOL yep that's how i start all my dates..."see this buddy? yep that's right, if you get out of hand i have the ability to kill you in 3 seconds...says so right here on the warning label..." BZZZZZZZZ "oh shit i thought the safety was hooked, my bad!"

mom said...

boty you're such a card !!

boty said...

like a hallmark even

schroederjt said...

As I read this post, I was totally imagining that Bethany's date was Mr. Big. And thinking about him being tasered by your sister was especially funny.

Gibbarella said...

how the heck does she find someone with a driver? So is that his car that the driver is driving? If you can afford a driver cant you afford a car? WTF is going on in NYC. Cant rich people take trains?buses? horse drawn carriages?subways? taxi's? WALK for god's sake? Do you really want to put your date through all that on your first date?