Tofu Gives Me Gas

And getting up at 5:15 in the morning to go to the gym seriously puts a cramp in my sleep style. But health is good, right? Not necessarily easy (especially for someone who more often than not would prefer to eat more, move less), but good. We need our health. So adjustments must be made.

I will reschedule my bedtime and my go-to-work time, and I will get myself to the gym in the morning.

I will remember to cover the blister on my foot with a band-aid before hitting the treadmill, and I will remember to bring my headphones home from work.

I will not worry about the speed of the treadmill next to me, and I will not worry about the sweat stains on my ass.

I will put brown sugar on my healthy, organic, steel-cut, slow-cooked oats and be happy that I am actually eating oatmeal.

I will not love myself less when I see a waifishly perfect model in the pages of Vogue wearing coveted haute-couture.

I will not worry if slimmer people than I are judging me when I eat a cookie in public.

And I will continue to eat tofu...but only in the privacy of my own home.


Gibbarella said...

You should perfom this as a poem at Cafe Coco. It is freaking hilarous.

Delirious said...


mom said...

hey, you gave me the motivation to get up and get moving...at least a little bit. but come on, Tofu? ick !

boty said...

mmm tofu, OATMEAL, and cookies :-P Mmmmm moving less and eating more, MORE, MORE!

waifness sucks dude! Besides, it's all about body confidence anyway...lol even if it's an act. But do enjoy the gym rush Saffron!