Movin' On Up

So, I am NEVER moving again. No, seriously. I know I’ve said that before (like EVERY time I’ve ever moved) but this time I mean it! I have moved 8 times in the past 13 years and I have had enough. Y’all will just have to bury me where I now reside because I am dunzo.

Things I Hate About Moving:

1. Acquiring Boxes: Yes I know it sounds like a small thing, but it’s such a pain in the ass going around trying to procure suitable moving boxes. If I weren’t so cheap I could’ve just bought them from U-Haul or somewhere, but even THAT is a pain in the ass because then you have to assemble the boxes. In any case, due to the pain-in-the-ass-ness of box procurement, inevitably I ended up with less boxes than I actually needed which then required packing the box, moving it to new residence, unpacking it immediately and taking it back to old residence to be packed again. This gets VERY old VERY quickly. Similarly, I do not and never have subscribed to the newspaper. I do not read the newspaper. I do not buy the newspaper. Thus, I also ended up with less packing material than was required. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Breakables: If all I ever had to pack was clothes and books, moving wouldn’t be nearly as annoying as it is when I have to pack up dishes and glasses and bakeware and other miscellaneous breakable doo-dads (and I don’t even own many breakable doo-dads for this very reason!). It’s just WAY more time consuming wrapping all that shit up than I ever anticipate. And is even more annoying when you run out of newspaper and have to start using the glossy Wal-Mart ads and coupon sections to wrap up precious wine goblets, martini glasses, vodka tumblers…oh, you get the idea.

3. Moving Anxiety: Perhaps if I were a more laid-back sort, this would not be such an issue for me. Alas, I am besieged with worrisome thoughts running on a constant loop in my head. Thoughts such as: must fill out change of address form, must cancel gas and electric service, must order new checks, must change address on drivers license, must get white paint to paint over wall I painted dark brown, must find spare keys to turn in, must take things to Goodwill, must try to organize all packing efforts, must remember not to pack away tax forms, must confirm with movers, must breathe deeply, must not expect the worse... must not expect the worse... must not expect the worse….oh my god – I’m. Moving. In. With. A. Boy! (Or, as Joanna refers to it: shacking up, cohabitating, or good ole living in sin. Hee.)

4. Disorganization: I enjoy organized spaces. Further, I enjoy clutter-less spaces. When one moves, no matter how one tries to organize the packing and moving effort, things end up all over the fucking place! And unless one is able to take a week off of work to combat the mountains of disorganization, one will have to be patient and put up with it for a while. Patience I do not have. A week of time-off I also do not have. Thus, the disorganization is one of things I hate about moving.

5. Hauling Boxes and Bags of Crap: (up three flights of stairs) Okay, so I hired movers to get the big stuff like the bed and the couch and the washer and dryer…but, again, due to my cheapness I thought, “oh I can get the other stuff – no problem!”. Admittedly, I am not in the best of shape, but even the young strapping guys who hauled my big items into my new digs were sweating and panting after just a couple of trips up and down. Now, multiply those trips by like 5 million (well okay, maybe 5 thousand) and you have one tired, cranky girl. (Daniel of course was a trooper and was just out to make me look bad!)

6. Cleaning: I don’t mind cleaning. No, not at all. In fact very often I take great satisfaction in cleaning. (Just ask Sara – we were the only people in our dorm with a floor you could eat off of. Not that we did, mind you.) Hoowwweeeeever, when moving, the last thing I want to do is clean my OLD apartment. Ya know? It’s just so goddamn annoying to have to waste precious time and energy cleaning my previous residence when all I really want to do is spend that time and energy on my new residence. More crankiness.

Okay, so now that I’ve firmly established myself as a whiny, cranky, ungrateful wretch when it comes to moving, there are some things about this move that have me grinning like an idiot.

The new place is lovely. Plenty of space for me, Daniel and my cats. Plenty of space for all of my crap. Lots of trees outside. A garage for my car. A hot tub for my tired legs (due to the three flights of stairs). A big ole Jacuzzi tub in my bathroom for when my legs are too tired to go downstairs to the hot tub. Hardwood floors. Close to work. Close to downtown. Yes, a genuinely lovely place.

AND, I have this great roommate who I dig – he’s no Sara, but he’ll do.


Gibbarella said...

Wow you are a winey hot tub bitch!

MUM said...

Poor, Gwenie and Addie. They must be all tuckered out from the move and all the stress.

cathryn said...

Yes...poor Gwen and Add...the life I make them lead is so traumatic *violin music*

They're FINE Mum! They are loving all the stairs!

boty said...

LOL they have conquered the stairs!! Now nothing stands in their way of universal domination!!!

Just be glad you didn't move in with "the worst hostess in the world"...otherwise your move would have been super craptastic!