Crab in the Eye

Went to the Rutledge Sunday night with Jen and Terah (and Jen E. was supposed to come too, but had a bizarre run-in with the Detergent-of-Death and sadly, was unable to join us due to the concussion - yeah, there's a story there…there always is).

Had never been to this recently renovated live music venue on 4th S. and was pleasantly surprised with the intimate atmosphere and great acoustics. Plus, it's non-smoking (yay!), has an outdoor bricked courtyard, a copper-top bar, and exposed 19th century brick walls. Yeah, kinda cool.

We were there to see Michael Reynolds (look him up on MySpace for more info), who's this rangy, folksy wisp of a guy with a voice as pure as…mountaintop snow…pure as drops of dew clinging to a spider's web just before dawn…pure as campanile bells ringing out in the piazza on a clear summer morning… pure as a baby's first laugh…pure as….oh…ah, sorry…where was I? Oh yeah. His whole style was vaguely reminiscent of John Denver (who I L-O-V-E) - i.e. GREAT songwriting talent, acoustic guitar abilities, and a strong clear voice; an artistically well-rounded musician. I'm not exactly sure, but I would guess his genre is (contemporary?) folk. It didn't seem quite country to me, nor was it bluegrass (although you could definitely detect influences from both of those genres).

Also performing that night was a band called The Big Dang Theory - who were just plain fun! And Nathan Spears - who was just plain annoying (he kept doing that weird Forrest Gump thing with his legs…you know the thing…the crazy Elvis leg thing - Mama said those shoes would take me anywhere!)

Halfway through Nathan's set, we went outside to the courtyard to join MR, Caron, and Bald-guy under one of the festively lit cabanas. Not only is Michael a very talented musician and performer, he's a really nice, friendly…and funny guy. He informed our little party that his new saying is, "that's a crab in the eye". This saying replaces such antiquated phrases as, "aw man, that sucks", or "wow, that blows". You get the idea. Now here's the story behind this trendy new phrase:

So, one of his female friends went to a male strip club and one of the male strippers got up close and personal (in other words, he stuck his crotch in her face - nice, huh?). Shortly thereafter she ended up going to the doctor with some eye trouble only to be told that she had crabs in her eye. I know, how shudderingly revolting is THAT!? Pretty much nothing would suck more than having a crab in your eye…hence the new patented phrase, "damn, that's a crab in the eye!" Use it freely and often!